As I was dwelling on it and riding my bike home that night, though, I looked up from the path before me into the most beautiful sunset. The brilliant mix of colors was beyond a Crayola box of 64, and the clouds seemed to dance and float across the sky reflecting them. In that moment, these verses from Psalm 50 came to mind:
"The Mighty One, God, the LORD,
speaks and summons the earth
from the rising of the sun to the place where it sets.
From Zion, perfect in beauty,
God shines forth.
Our God comes and will not be silent;"
From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets. Our God comes and will not be silent. Wow.
Immediately I was reminded of my run a month ago through the cornfields and gravel roads of home. I had forgotten my headphones, so it ended up being six miles of prayer time and mind wandering, but as I looked around me at the sun-scorched crops that day, I couldn't help asking myself, "Whose attention are you trying to get God?"
To say it's been a dry year is an understatement. Very little snow this winter. Very little rain this summer. Corn turning brown in July like it was October - killing itself from the bottom up. Plants looking pretty parched. Creeks looking pretty sandy. Temps always way too hot and sunny without rain to refresh the earth.
But as I ran that day and looked at the scorched, thirsty crops, I was reminded that God was in control. That only He could "tip over the water jars of the heavens" (Job 38:37-38). That even when a farmer does everything else perfectly, they are still at the mercy of things beyond their control. But in that moment of helplessness, there is also a beautiful opportunity for faith to develop. And isn't that what it's ultimately all about anyway?
Our attention. That's what God wants more than anything else. And I'm learning He'll do whatever it takes to re-focus our hearts and eyes back to Him who gave us them in the first place.
For some it takes a fire that destroys the temporary things of this world. For others it's a dry year where one's income, needs and livelihood are at the mercy of mother nature. For me? It was homesickness in South Africa. It was watching things I found my identity in crumble before me. It is now finding myself in a job where I have no choice but to depend on God for things I can't control, things I don't know, love and patience I don't have, difficult and painful situations I can't fix.
And though it often takes the hard things in life to finally look to God for strength and help, isn't it cool that He's gracious enough to give us those things? I mean, He loves us enough to allow hard things in life to happen - even though painful - because He ultimately wants to draw us back to Himself, the One who was before the world began and will still be around when the world ends. The One who made us in His image, bought our lives back on the cross and loves us as we come. The One who is so passionate about His glory and His people that He will not be silent. He will not stop pursuing us. He will not stop reminding us Who is in control and Who has the strength and wisdom to carry us through all things we face.
This is true grace, my friends, if we really stop to consider it. God loves us enough not to leave us where we are. And ultimately, more than happiness or easyness of life or simplicity, He wants our hearts, our worship and our love. And He will do whatever it takes to get our attention.
Super humbled by this. Super grateful. And praying I would continue to see His grace in all things. That both the good and bads of life are an invitation to once again put my faith and trust in Him who holds all things, knows all things, works in all things and has life under control when it seems chaotic and broken and overwhelming and hard from my perspective in the moment.
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