[that we might fully depend on Him]

What word would you use to describe Christmas? I mean it. Pick one.

A thousand options arise, and it's hard to choose. But you know, every year your answer could change. For me it certainly has. And this year I pick "humbling".

Yes, humbling.

Yes I know. I didn't pick the usual - joyful, loving, family-focused, generous. It's not the flip-side either - painful, difficult, lonely or grief-filled. I think most people swing one of those two ways.

But me in 2014? I pick humbling.

You see, even though I've sung "Hark the Herald Angels" a thousand times, this year I can't get one line out of my head: "Mild he lay his glory by." His glory. His power, His beauty. His ability to never need food, shelter, water or sleep. His perfect self with no struggle against temptation, no need for people and none of the limits prone to humanity. 

Mildly, with ease, Jesus laid all of that beside. And He came to us at Christmas. He had every reason in the world to stay in heaven and be limitless for eternity. But He didn't. This blows my mind.

And it causes me this Christmas to reflect on all I think I am, all I think I know and all I think I deserve. Because I realize Jesus never gave those excuses to God.  

And He calls us to do the same.

To be put in our place. To walk humbly. To live gratefully. To bear heartache, struggles, others' disapproval, even persecution. To stop people-pleasing and sounding good from a human standpoint that we might get out of the way to be vessels of God. To stop taking credit, flaunting our opinions and being cynics of God's Word - critical of anything He's said that we don't like.

This is definitely something I'm learning these days. And maybe this is His goal of refinement in my life these past years.

I came blazing out of college. Ready to roll up my sleeves and save the world. Got punched in the gut a few times by the reality of people's lives and what it's like to love and serve and give only to have people walk away from God. Or use Him (or me) for what they need and then gone. 

And that sucks. Let's be honest.

I don't feel like I'm saving the world one bit. But wow. God is. He's much bigger and greater than I ever imagined, and I love and need Him now more than ever.

Maybe that, in and of itself, is God's purpose for me anyway. 

He doesn't care how many come to English or Bible studies or F.I.S.H. dinners. He isn't concerned about numbers, programs and performance. Ministry is His tool to mold, refine and shape me. Ministry is His way to humble me. Ministry is His way to strip me of myself that I might fully depend on Him.

Mild Jesus lay His glory by. Rather than parading His rights, He submitted to God's ways, became lower and re-set the course of history for time and eternity. 

If we are to be His hands and feet, Church, then we must follow His way and His way is humility. Let us be humbled this time of year. Let us be grateful. Let us be humbly grateful and stop telling God how busy and stressed we are (even in the name of good things), that He might show us who He is making us to be. Let us lay all we think we are aside that we might fully depend on Him. 

[to stop counting]

A few weeks back a friend loaned me a book: Born to Run by Christopher McDougall. It's about a hidden tribe in the copper canyons of Mexico and their amazing ability to run endless miles over treacherous terrain. They wear sandals instead of running shoes, eat natural foods instead of goo packs and have never considered (or maybe even heard of) stop watches, heart-rate monitors or iPods.

Oh yeah. And when I said endless I meant it. Not 5K fun runs. Not marathons even. Try 50 or 100+ miles in one shot and then the same the next day. No joke. And no problem for them. So what's their secret you ask?

Turns out a lot of things. But of all the discoveries, one stuck out to me first. 

They never measured - distance, times, whether their feet under or overpronated, how many pounds they lost, BMI's, nothing. It wasn't about their mile splits or having a direct path marked out on GPS beforehand. They ran for the fun, the experience, the thrill, to get somewhere. They ran to enjoy and soak in their surroundings. They ran with friends and against friends in competitions. Where the victor's prize was simple pride in their accomplishment. No need for medals, Tshirts, money, beer tents, instagram photos and "post-race results."

In short, more than physically running, they discovered a pure heart and love for the sport. 

The day after I read that, I stopped measuring. Stopped taking my watch and iPod with me. I still mapped my routes beforehand to know mileage, but that's it. It's only been four weeks, and already I've noticed changes.

And it's got me thinking. What if we stopped measuring in every area of life? What if we stopped counting, stopped weighing, stopped assigning numbers to everything.

What if being healthy was more than counting calories, measuring inches, calculating pounds?

What if job success wasn't based on percents, sales, profits, efficiency?

What if the value of education and teachers wasn't based on test scores?

What if ministry wasn't about attendance numbers?

What if social media wasn't about "likes", "re-tweets" and "shares?"

What if life didn't revolve around constant comparison in how we "measure up" to others so that we are free to just be?

This I think could free a lot of people, myself included. To return to the basics of why we do what we do. Why did I start running? Truthfully I wanted to get to state cross country in high school. Then I wanted to avoid gaining the "freshmen 15" in college. But the true love began when running evolved into an escape and a prayer journey and a way to release and refresh. 

Somewhere along the way I forgot that though. I was obsessed with mile splits and pace after every run. I had goals for improving my half-marathon times and running a full. And sometime last year I started burning out, started a plateau. Running became a chore instead of a delight. My legs were tired before I started, and no matter how new my shoes were, they felt old and broken. 

I think the same thing can happen in any aspect of life if we're not careful. So I've stopped counting minutes and mile splits. Stopped analyzing times. Stopped relying on music to entertain myself. And though there is no "magic bullet" that works for all, it's been a true joy to reconnect with the basics again.

No measurements to define success.

No stopwatch to tell me I'm fast, slow, capable, not.

Just me, God, a road, a world waking up and a sunrise most days through the trees. Now to apply to the rest of life..

[that's the part you gotta worry about]

Last night I found an old journal entry that struck me. I had been meditating on Matthew 6:25, a well-known and repeated verse:

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?"   

-Jesus

And though I'd heard those words countless times, what hit me was how insignificant those worries seem to be in light of the problem of sin. It's as if God was saying:

Worry about the moments you fail to extend My love and grace.

Worry about the money you hoard for yourself.

Worry about the things you buy in hopes they will provide happiness or joy apart from Me.

Worry about the grudges you hold.

Worry about the lies you tell to "get ahead" or make people assume only good things about you.

Worry about the judgments you make on others.

Worry about your impatience and rudeness in traffic or stores.

Worry about selfishness

Worry about pride.

Worry about all the things you put in front of spending time with Me.

Worry about thinking intellectual agreement is the same as belief.

Worry about ignoring Me when you don't like what I have to say.

Worry ignoring the people I have placed in your hands to serve.

Worry about the phone calls you avoid and relationships you squander.

Worry about losing your thirst and hunger for My Word.

Ever seen "Fox and the Hound"? It's a Disney movie about a dog and a fox that become friends, not knowing they're supposed to be enemies. As the fox (Todd) is examining another full-grown but fast-asleep hunting dog, he first notices his ears. Copper, the little dog, replies to his friend, "That's not the part you gotta worry about." 

Then Todd checks out his teeth. As he does, the big dog starts to wake up, and Copper yelps, "That's the part you gotta worry about!" as they run off to safety.

While a cartoon dog hunting a cartoon fox is a bit different, I think it's a great picture of what Jesus is trying to say here. The big dog's ears can't hurt the fox. But his teeth? Yessir. Not only can they do damage, but they can take his life. Same with what Jesus tells us to concentrate on instead of physical things:

"But seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you." (v. 33)

Seek first to honor, follow, believe, trust and worship Him. And in light of His Kingdom, the rest of what we seem to worry about gains perspective to become what it really is - temporary. 

[life that is truly life]

There's a verse that hit me in church last Sunday and continually came up all week long.

"These things are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God."    John 20:31

I've sung it countless times as part of the liturgy before. I can repeat it with my eyes closed actually, and intellectually I nod my head yes every time. But the beauty of God's Word is that it's living and active, and some of His sweetest lessons are when He opens our hearts to truth, not just intellectual agreement.

That's what it felt like this week for me. "These things are written. . "

Why?

"That you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God.."

And! There's more. It gets better.

". . and by believing you may have life in his name."

Let's be honest. It wasn't like God was bored one day and decided to write down His accomplishments. Needed to flex His muscles a bit. Thought someone might like to know some world history. He existed long before the world, will exist after and doesn't really need a Bible to back Himself up.

No, God inspired His Word for us. It was written down for us. To point us to Him. To reveal Himself. To teach us about His compassion, mercy, grace, truth, holiness and love. And He did it by using stories of people, average people, from many ages, many backgrounds and  many nations that had many struggles, triumphs, talents, failures, inadequacies, excuses and countless crap-I-messed-up-agains.

For us. That we may believe, and that by believing, we may have life not shortened by death. Life that is truly life (1 Timothy 6:17-19).