[a thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices]

Christmas seems almost . .  magical . . this year. Magical isn't the word, but I don't know what is. Technically, it's my 26th Christmas. I don't remember the first few, but I do have many fond memories and lists of little things I love that are unique to this season.

All that isn't what makes this year ... different, special, truly the most wonderful time of the year, though.

It's the fact that people seem less selfish and self-consumed. It's taking a break from work and school to make time for people. It's the joy and fun of giving. It's when the things/people of life that should matter most actually do. 

And it's lines like this from O Holy Night - "A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices, for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn." 

Weary. Isn't that a great word to describe our world today? I'm tired. Everyone's tired. When's the last time someone told you they were well-rested? Seriously. It sounds hilarious to even hear it in my head let alone from someone's mouth. 

"A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices." Those words were written to speak of the night Jesus was born, a time when the world was hungry for hope. 

But truthfully, not much has changed. We're still starving for it today. 

Starving to remember, to believe, to trust and to persevere. Starving to look beyond circumstances of situations, struggles, war, tragedy, poverty and pain to believe it's still a beautiful world. Starving to defeat Satan's lies, so that, no matter what life brings, our hope is anchored in God who loves us beyond circumstances of this life and is not deaf to our troubles or prayers.

The more I get to know people from around the world, the more I realize how much we, how much I, need the gospel, the good news, hope every day. 

And it doesn't matter what our battle is. 

It doesn't matter if it's illness, grief, finances, parenting, marriage, depression, abuse, exhaustion, complacency, anger, pride, selfishness, poverty, fear, fighting or loneliness. We need a God who is greater, stronger, wiser and more powerful to look to and to trust in, and that's what Christmas is about. The gift of the Savior who not once let us down, not once loved us less and not once avoided God's will to die on a cross and conquer sin, death and the devil for us. A Savior who gives us greater citizenship in heaven, beyond the world's broken systems.

This is our hope, world! This is our Christ, our Messiah, our Savior. This is the time to rejoice. Joy to the whole wide, often weary, world, the Lord has come. 

And with Him, He brings beautiful, beautiful hope.

[nothing compares]

**This post is ironic considering my last one. I didn't realize that until I was editing everything I had written out here. It had been long enough that I didn't remember what I previously wrote about, and wow - exactly the same thing. Ironic? I think not. Carry on:

Last night I drove home early enough to see the sun set. As I coasted down the interstate, it slowly faded to my right into a brilliant mix of pinks, purples, blues, yellows and oranges - painted in streaks across the sky, making everything else glow in it's wake, even more stark because of the colorless landscape all around.

It commanded attention in the most beautiful way, and it deserved it.

Sadly, I didn't get to an off-ramp fast enough. Then when I did, there were houses and businesses and cars in my way, and I found myself frustrated with all the man-made stuff interfering with creation.

Finally, though, I got far enough away from buildings to freeze the last few moments:

The picture doesn't do justice to the brilliance a few moments before, but it was a try. As I got back in my car and headed home, I found myself driving by a big, beautiful, luxurious home and thinking, "That's ugly compared to what I just saw." 

And it was funny to me because I've spent countless hours admiring houses - as I drive, as I run, as I explore new neighborhoods and cities, just living life. I sometimes dream about what kind of house I'll hopefully live in some day - small enough to not spend my life cleaning or filling it with worthless stuff, big enough to welcome the people I love. Full of mementos and life-acquired memories and cozy. 

But then you see sunsets like yesterday, and you fall in love all over again with the beauty of God. The beauty He creates and lets us enjoy. The beauty of knowing Him.

And nothing compares. Sure I get side-tracked and distracted by the world's wealth, beauty, attraction. Sure, I fight the constant battle between my desires and humanity versus God's will and Word. Sure, it's easy to lose sight of that so fast. To squeeze God out, even with other good things. (See last post if you don't believe me. I told you this was ironic.)

But it's a humbling moment when you look out your window and see indescribable beauty. Even here my words feel clumsy and inadequate trying to describe the greatness of God I felt in the moment, the worthiness of God I answered 'yes' to, the grace of God allowing us to simply enjoy Him because He is good.

Like I said last time, it's the battle of a lifetime to answer, "Yes Lord, nothing compares to You." But it's a battle oh so worthy of being fought.

[good intentions failed again]

Do you ever have a love/fail relationship with verses? Philippians 3:8 says, "What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ." And I love it.

I agree with it wholeheartedly. I want it to be true in every aspect of life.

But truth is, it doesn't take much to distract me. That struck me the other day as we discussed it with the high school youth group. Oh Lord, everything else is rubbish, but...I really want that new pair of shoes because I like them. Nevermind I have many others and haven't given an offering this week. Oh God, everything else is rubbish, but...I would rather go to the ISU football game instead of doing ministry things. Everything else is rubbish, but I got distracted on the internet and wasted all the time I had set aside to read my Bible. The list goes on.

"I consider everything a loss.." yet I cling tightly to the familiar, the easy, the things I love, my humanity. I intellectually agree with the verses, and then real life happens, and my feet, hands and heart fail to follow. 

And you know, the thing that brings me comfort is that Israel had the exact. same. problem. When Moses read the Book of the Covenant to them they responded, "We will do everything the LORD has said; we will obey!" [Exodus 24:7] But when Moses takes longer than their liking on the mountain, they decide to make themselves a golden calf idol instead. 

Or Peter. Jesus predicts his denial, and he responds, never. "Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will. . . Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you."  [Matthew 26:33,35] And then he does - all. three. times.

You see, the more I grow in faith, the more I see my humanity, sin and struggle to follow God more clearly. A Chinese friend once asked me, "What about the good people who don't know the God? What happens to them?" And I answered, "Well, God doesn't judge our goodness compared to other people. He judges us compared to Jesus." "Ohhhh then no they're not Jesus," she responded with a shaking head.

Neither am I. Neither are you. And so we nod our heads yes, yes Lord when we like the promises and commands in His word. But every day the devil sets traps all around us, and every day I'm a sucker for them. Distractions. Worry. Impatience. Selfishness. Pride. Greed. The list goes on.

Which is why I also like verses like Psalm 25:15: "My eyes are ever on the LORD, for only he will release my feet from the snare." Only He has the way out.

You see, our culture today is obsessed with "how-to's" in 5-10 easy steps. I just Googled that exact phrase and got these results on the first page alone:

-"How to lose 10 pounds in just two weeks!"
-"Five steps to find your inner balance"
-"Five winning ways to grow a savings account"
-"How to clean your room in less time: 5 steps (with pictures)"
-"How to win chess in five moves or less"

But when I tried to apply that idea to sin in my life it didn't work out so well. Instead I have to come back to Christ's defeat, Christ's victory over sin, Christ's sacrifice once and for all. I have to be humbled once again that it's not about what I can do but always about what Christ has done. It's always about His strength and perfection, not mine. And ultimately it's always always always about God, not me.

When I come back to that foundational truth, that is when I can truly say, "everything else is rubbish Lord apart from knowing you." And that's the battle of a lifetime.

[it's good to be "normal" again]

Ahhhh I didn't forget about blogging, and I didn't give up on it. I got engaged, was part of weddings, went to weddings, planned my wedding, spent a week in St. Louis and a week in Texas at conferences, moved cities, continued ministry, got married and somewhere in-between continued to eat, sleep, run and breathe.

And you know, it's been fun. But holy smokes I am glad to settle back into a "normal person" life. A routine of some sort. A weekend free here or there. A living room that isn't full of piles and boxes. A purse that isn't full of "to-do" and "don't forget" lists. A person who's every conversation isn't about a one-day event.

I'm not complaining. Planning our wedding and the day itself were a dream come true. Almost all of the people I love most were in one place at the same time, just once. Never again will we have friends and family from 19 different states and representing 5 different countries witness our vows and share a meal and party together. Never again will I get to wear that beautiful dress and feel like a pampered beauty queen. Never again will we get to make the day truly ours with personal touches and ideas.

We did. We loved planning and scheming for the day. We loved making it our own unique, personalized day. We loved the whole weekend with everyone. We love looking back at pictures that capture the fun, emotions, love, friendship and life that day.

And yet.

For all the hype and beauty of a wedding.

For all the reasons I would definitely go back and do it all over again.

For all the love, fun, emotions and life that day.

I'm glad it's over.

Because now life sets in. Now I'm a normal person again - not defined as a bride. Now the real beauty and work of marriage begins. Now what God designed to last a lifetime replaces the one-time event, and I'm so thankful for Him in it all.

No longer are my prayer times interrupted by thoughts of things I forgot to do. No longer do I drag out of bed because I spent too much time putting together invites or scheming on Etsy the night before. No longer do I sit down to read the Bible but fail to concentrate on anything except passages about love and marriage. And I'm definitely ok with that. 

To future brides that might happen to read this - stay excited about your wedding day. Put your heart into planning and making the day truly yours. Don't get fooled into buying over-priced things or doing things just because you think you have to. Embrace that people are ridiculously excited for you, and it's an incredible time of blessing. (Also! Let them help you when they offer!) 

But fyi - real life afterwards isn't a let down. Because learning about the Lord and your new husband is thee adventure of a lifetime. And if nothing else, I've learned how much I don't know in the last couple months - about God, about marriage, about true love and forgiveness, about just doing life alongside someone. But I love the daily journey of learning and growing without being distracted by details for a one-day event. 

Dear God, thank you for all the blessings of a wedding and that time in my life. But dear God, thank you that real-life has just as much joy and blessing when we look to You as our source. 

[what do hymns and St. Patrick have in common?]

St. Patty's day is comin' up, and I just learned something cool about thee St. Pat. It has nothing to do with lephrachauns, Guinness, the color green or Irish pubs, so peace out now if you're disappointed. If not, stick with me.

My "aha!" moment started with a hymn - "Be Thou My Vision." I'd heard it before, but today it struck me as my Pandora station shuffled through songs. So I searched through the various arrangements on YouTube and liked this one best: [be Thou my vision - chelsea moon] .

Then the history nerd in me came out, and I searched the song's original meaning. It just seemed like a great prayer - to not care about riches, human praise, physical needs, knowledge, worldly success or anything but God's opinion, God's riches, God's wisdom - something I connect with in my heart but end up straddling the line between every day. Between sold-out devotion to God and yet attraction to the world's treasures. Between desiring to please only Him yet still seeking affirmation from others. You know. Being human.

Then I stumbled upon story after story of the guy behind the song. Curious? St. Patrick. Thee St. Patrick. Thee original dude who's name people get dressed up in green for, drink green beer for, throw cabbages and leftover Marti Grai beads at parades for if you're in Biloxi, Mississippi five spring breaks ago. No joke here's proof:

But the original St. Patrick was far from this. Turns out he was a missionary, and this was a hymn written about the time he put his life on the line defying the king of Ireland. It was the night before Easter, and King Logaire had ordered no candles could be lit before he lit a fire on Slane Hill to signify the start of a pagan spring festival. St. Patrick lit candles anyway, and the king let him live. 

Turns out his royal highness was so impressed by Patrick's courage and devotion that he let the missionary continue his work instead of putting him to death. A few centuries later, a monk wrote the hymn to honor Patrick's actions/faith that night.

Pretty sweet eh? Lighting a few candles doesn't seem like a huge, gigantic, superhero, overly-spiritual kind of action, but the fact that his life was on the line means a whole different thing. Pretty awesome. And God gets the glory when the king recognizes Patrick's devotion, concludes he must be following Someone pretty important, yields and spares his life. 

Reminds me of Esther's story in the Bible. Reminds me God does His best work in the impossibles. And motivates me to pray "Lord be my vision." Not my success. Not my gain. Not my acceptance. Not my perfect, easy, comfortable life or that things work my way, but God and God's glory alone. 

[what to pray?]

Many people have asked me what I prayed last Wednesday. Had the opportunity to give an opening prayer before the Iowa House of Representatives and the Senate, and wow, that was my same question. What do you pray?

It started in December. I got a call from my dad's first cousin, Steve Olson, asking if I'd give an opening prayer to the Iowa legislators on January 16. He has served in the Iowa House for District 83 since he was first elected in 2002, and he was in-charge of finding a "Pastor of the Day" for that opening Wednesday.

I asked him if he had the right number. He laughed, told me he wanted to find someone close to Des Moines in-case of bad weather and let me know the specifics. It had to be 60-90 seconds long, sensitive to other faiths and was limited to just prayer. Told him I was honored and humbled, and though hesitant about the sensitive part, said yes.

After talking with others, praying about it and a long seven-mile run one weekend, I decided to pray in the name of Jesus and focus on truth versus offending people.

Lastly, I led a Bible study with friends from China, Korea, Iraq and Brazil the day before. The minute I said "Amen" at the end of our prayer to close the study, one of the Chinese women exclaimed, "Peace! You prayed for peace. My mother told me to look for the peace and that is where I would find the God." With that fresh on my heart, I added peace.

The next day, I took my notes, asked God for confidence and prayed approximately this:

"Father God, I thank You for the opportunity to be here this morning and to ask for Your presence, peace and blessing in this place. I thank You that Your Word says all authority on earth has ultimately been established by You. I also thank You that because of this, we are called to obey and submit to our leaders so that their work will be a joy and not a burden. 

Father I thank You for these men and women and pray that You'd give them diligence, wisdom and discernment in the coming weeks and months as they sort through many possible agenda items. I pray You would help them to know only what You've called them to do, only what You've asked of them, and that that is enough.

And God ultimately I pray that You would be known and glorified here. Because our governments and states and countries will eventually fade, but You remain. Lead, guide, protect and bless them Father, and make me, make us, faithful in praying for them throughout the coming days and weeks ahead. We ask for Your peace. We look to You in all things, and we pray this all in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen."

Thankful and humbled for the opportunity, and praying He continues to answer this and many other prayers for our government in the coming weeks and months.