[saving the world. or not]

So LA. How to explain? The weather, mountains and palm trees are beautiful. The stuff we're learning is overwhelming, challenging, convicting, humbling, eye-opening. The people - amazing. In some ways I feel like I've been here for months. In others, I feel like we just arrived.

We've learned that missions isn't a command. It's a promise from God that He will redeem the world and bring peoples from all nations to worship Him as Lord. We've learned that God's plan for missions isn't tied up in a couple of verses at the end of Matthew. It's the theme of the entire Bible. We've learned about God's glory and how He intends to accomplish His purposes on this earth with or without us. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Just the salt on the meat. Just a snap-shot of everything we're learning.

And until I had to apply it to real life, I scribbled everything down furiously, learned as much as I could in and soaked it all up. Even today, the speaker challenged us to be content doing what God gives us to do rather than self-assigning our own mission because of overwhelming compassion for some noble cause, and I really liked that. So much of my heart breaks for the injustices of this world - child soldiers, genocide, starvation, homelessness, poverty, disease, forced prostitution, rape as a tool of war, hopelessness, modern day slavery, orphans and children without the opportunity to go to school and dream big. But I've also accepted the fact that God never asked me to save the world. He's given me compassion, but I cannot run off to volunteer for every good cause. I understand that.

However, what I don't get is why there is still so much hurt here beyond noble causes. This morning in class, it was so clear. It's because of sin. This world is a mess because we all live in sin daily. And until Jesus comes back to fulfill His ultimate promise of redeeming the world, this earth will continue to be a mess. Yeah that sounds easy enough to understand.

But then I pull myself away from the classroom. From my notes. From my head knowledge. And that's where it gets tough. That's where I have to apply it to real life, and frankly, real life isn't so straight-forward. I find myself at loss for words as I listen to two different friends describe real hurts caused by others. Real pain through no fault of their own. Real struggles that are hard to understand, hard to explain away, hard to answer when the only question is "Why?" Why God.

If He is going to redeem and save this world from all the hurt and injustice, then what is He waiting for you know? Like the Lincoln Brewster song goes:

"surely children weren't made for the streets
and fathers were not made to leave
surely this isn't how it should be
let Your kingdom come

surely nations were not made for war
or the broken meant to be ignored
surely this just can't be what you saw
let your kingdom come"

And yet I know that every person must have an opportunity to hear the gospel before Jesus comes back again, and until then, our part is in the chorus no matter how much pain life brings to us and those close to us:

"I will live
to carry Your compassion
to love a world that's broken
to be Your hands and feet
and I will give
with the life that I've been given
and go beyond religion
to see the world be changed
by the power of Your name"

We may not understand God's timing. We may not understand why He performs miracles in some situations and seems to watch as others cause more pain. We may not be able to save the world from injustice and unfairness, but there's a God Who reigns that can. There's a God Who reigns that will. And He's going to do it for His glory and His fame, not ours.

God is faithful. I truly believe that. And I know there is goodness on this earth (Psalm 27:13). My question is how to let God truly break my heart for what breaks His while also standing by and being content with my small part. My mist of a life. My single grain in the sands of time. That's a challenge. That's convicting. And I don't know what it looks like.