[is it worth it?]

Today I ate lunch with a missionary. We've had the opportunity to do it all week, and this guy spent eight years in Kazakhstan (had to look up the spelling on that one) and many years serving in all kinds of humanitarian aid throughout many countries. But as he told us the story of how he first got interested and then involved in missions, the amount of his knowledge and insight isn't what got me.

It was the fact that he came back to the U.S. for a conference, ended up getting an MRI done for a vision problem, was diagnosed with a brain tumor and rushed into emergency surgery, was given a few months to live, was started on chemotherapy, and then he went back. He went back with a clock ticking away the supposed last days and months of his life. He went back to continue establishing a group of believers and church. He went back while administering chemo to himself. He went back almost dying in the process, yet he went back to Kazakhstan compelled. Compelled to finish what had been started because the gospel of Jesus was worth it. And the best news? The church there is growing on it's own now, and the missionary is currently tumor-free.

Man. There are times when I've wondered if the gospel was worth stepping out of my comfort zone to witness. Or saying no to a night at the college bars. Or choosing God over a serious relationship. But to have a brain tumor, to have a gut instinct that the doctors are giving you less than a year to live and yet still go back to the people you have grown to love because sharing the news of Jesus' love is worth it? That's a whole new challenge that I don't know if I have the guts or faith to answer to. I'd like to yes, but I can't stop putting myself in that position and wondering how I'd react and whether or not God would be glorified in it.

Paul writes in Romans 8:18, "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." And my sufferings are pretty small in comparison to the ones that many here have taken-on for the sake of Jesus Christ and His love. That's powerful. That's humbling. That's the kind of follower I want to be someday, and I know I can't get there on my own.

But when God's Word comes alive in our hearts. When God's grace compels us to say yes to things we don't even understand at the time. When God's love completely fills and sustains us - that's when we truly become compelled to share the good news of Jesus Christ. It will never happen full heartedly if we simply feel obligated to respond in obedience to the Great Commission (Matthew 28:18-20). When the gospel of God consumes you, you realize it's worth it, and I'm just starting to get a taste of what that's like.