The hold-up is that God keeps bringing up little things I haven't obeyed Him in. I sit down to read and soak in truth, but instead He convicts me of what I already know. Perhaps an example will help me explain. Here is a taste of my internal conversation/prayer a couple weeks ago:
H: "Good morning God. I'm reading on in 2 Corinthians about jars of clay . . .
But you keep bringing up that person to mind. Yes I know I avoided them yesterday when I could have helped the situation. I just didn't have the patience, and I had things to do. Plus they would have gone on talking at me forever about some topic I didn't have time to listen to. You know all the times I've gotten stuck by myself listening to them go on and on and on and on! . . .
So back to 2 Corinthians! What can I learn today. Let's see, what does that verse mean? . . .
Ahhh I can't get them (said person) out of my head. Seriously God. I have lots of great reasons for dodging them. . .
Focus. 2 Corinthians 4. Focus. . .
[insert failure to re-focus]
Ok God, perhaps I should pray for them. Perhaps I should also confess my sin and pray for an opportunity to show them kindness instead of impatience and annoyance. Forget 2 Corinthians today. I think I'm being called to pray, repent and act instead . . "
Ever have a battle like that? God won't let you get away with your excuses to do what's easy? Won't leave you alone to just soak in head knowledge but not actually live it out?
I read a convicting quote the other day - "The devil will let you resolve as much as you like; the more the better, just as long as you never carry it out." [David Guzik]
How true! How much money does Amazon.com make off of books ordered by Christians stuck in delayed obedience?
"I know I should share the gospel, but that's scary. Instead I'll read one more book that will tell me how."
"I should pray more and worry less, but maybe reading a book about prayer would help instead. I need more strategies first."
"I should love that person, but it's hard. Perhaps a devotional on love would be better."
Are you laughing at this? I am! And I am oh so guilty of it. Our lives are saturated, saturated, in Christian resources while 1,000's of people groups have yet to receive the simple Bible in their heart language.
Let me read one more book God. Let me do anything, anything, but the actual act of obeying You. If I can just know a bit more then I'll be ready. But when is enough, enough? When do we stop circulating our Christian blogs, sermon series, books and music and step out in faith? No other generation has had more access to information and opportunities to learn about and grow in the Bible. Yet I fear it has crippled us from actually obeying what we know.
Now I am no expert in this. I like reading another book of advice far more than stepping out in obedience. But God isn't letting me get away with that these days. And I pray the same for you.
Where is God nudging you recently? Don't think too hard, too big or too impractical. And don't ignore the obvious because you don't want to hear it. Where is God calling you to something small but greatly significant, something higher? What is one small way you can step out in faith? What is one promise from God to remember as you do?
Because truth is, God didn't call us to believe in the Church. He didn't call us to admire/appreciate the Church. He didn't call us to know about the Church. He didn't call us to read up on the Church. He didn't call us to attend church!!
He called us to be the Church, be the light, be the salt, be His hands and feet.
Let's put down our books beloved Church. Refrain from another blog (after finishing this, of course). Pause your latest pod cast. Wherever God is nudging you, wherever God is calling you, step out. Obey. I'm praying for you. Pray for me! And together let's be what He's called us to be. We know who we are in Jesus. Let's live it out.
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