[good intentions failed again]

Do you ever have a love/fail relationship with verses? Philippians 3:8 says, "What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ." And I love it.

I agree with it wholeheartedly. I want it to be true in every aspect of life.

But truth is, it doesn't take much to distract me. That struck me the other day as we discussed it with the high school youth group. Oh Lord, everything else is rubbish, but...I really want that new pair of shoes because I like them. Nevermind I have many others and haven't given an offering this week. Oh God, everything else is rubbish, but...I would rather go to the ISU football game instead of doing ministry things. Everything else is rubbish, but I got distracted on the internet and wasted all the time I had set aside to read my Bible. The list goes on.

"I consider everything a loss.." yet I cling tightly to the familiar, the easy, the things I love, my humanity. I intellectually agree with the verses, and then real life happens, and my feet, hands and heart fail to follow. 

And you know, the thing that brings me comfort is that Israel had the exact. same. problem. When Moses read the Book of the Covenant to them they responded, "We will do everything the LORD has said; we will obey!" [Exodus 24:7] But when Moses takes longer than their liking on the mountain, they decide to make themselves a golden calf idol instead. 

Or Peter. Jesus predicts his denial, and he responds, never. "Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will. . . Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you."  [Matthew 26:33,35] And then he does - all. three. times.

You see, the more I grow in faith, the more I see my humanity, sin and struggle to follow God more clearly. A Chinese friend once asked me, "What about the good people who don't know the God? What happens to them?" And I answered, "Well, God doesn't judge our goodness compared to other people. He judges us compared to Jesus." "Ohhhh then no they're not Jesus," she responded with a shaking head.

Neither am I. Neither are you. And so we nod our heads yes, yes Lord when we like the promises and commands in His word. But every day the devil sets traps all around us, and every day I'm a sucker for them. Distractions. Worry. Impatience. Selfishness. Pride. Greed. The list goes on.

Which is why I also like verses like Psalm 25:15: "My eyes are ever on the LORD, for only he will release my feet from the snare." Only He has the way out.

You see, our culture today is obsessed with "how-to's" in 5-10 easy steps. I just Googled that exact phrase and got these results on the first page alone:

-"How to lose 10 pounds in just two weeks!"
-"Five steps to find your inner balance"
-"Five winning ways to grow a savings account"
-"How to clean your room in less time: 5 steps (with pictures)"
-"How to win chess in five moves or less"

But when I tried to apply that idea to sin in my life it didn't work out so well. Instead I have to come back to Christ's defeat, Christ's victory over sin, Christ's sacrifice once and for all. I have to be humbled once again that it's not about what I can do but always about what Christ has done. It's always about His strength and perfection, not mine. And ultimately it's always always always about God, not me.

When I come back to that foundational truth, that is when I can truly say, "everything else is rubbish Lord apart from knowing you." And that's the battle of a lifetime.