[nothing compares]

**This post is ironic considering my last one. I didn't realize that until I was editing everything I had written out here. It had been long enough that I didn't remember what I previously wrote about, and wow - exactly the same thing. Ironic? I think not. Carry on:

Last night I drove home early enough to see the sun set. As I coasted down the interstate, it slowly faded to my right into a brilliant mix of pinks, purples, blues, yellows and oranges - painted in streaks across the sky, making everything else glow in it's wake, even more stark because of the colorless landscape all around.

It commanded attention in the most beautiful way, and it deserved it.

Sadly, I didn't get to an off-ramp fast enough. Then when I did, there were houses and businesses and cars in my way, and I found myself frustrated with all the man-made stuff interfering with creation.

Finally, though, I got far enough away from buildings to freeze the last few moments:

The picture doesn't do justice to the brilliance a few moments before, but it was a try. As I got back in my car and headed home, I found myself driving by a big, beautiful, luxurious home and thinking, "That's ugly compared to what I just saw." 

And it was funny to me because I've spent countless hours admiring houses - as I drive, as I run, as I explore new neighborhoods and cities, just living life. I sometimes dream about what kind of house I'll hopefully live in some day - small enough to not spend my life cleaning or filling it with worthless stuff, big enough to welcome the people I love. Full of mementos and life-acquired memories and cozy. 

But then you see sunsets like yesterday, and you fall in love all over again with the beauty of God. The beauty He creates and lets us enjoy. The beauty of knowing Him.

And nothing compares. Sure I get side-tracked and distracted by the world's wealth, beauty, attraction. Sure, I fight the constant battle between my desires and humanity versus God's will and Word. Sure, it's easy to lose sight of that so fast. To squeeze God out, even with other good things. (See last post if you don't believe me. I told you this was ironic.)

But it's a humbling moment when you look out your window and see indescribable beauty. Even here my words feel clumsy and inadequate trying to describe the greatness of God I felt in the moment, the worthiness of God I answered 'yes' to, the grace of God allowing us to simply enjoy Him because He is good.

Like I said last time, it's the battle of a lifetime to answer, "Yes Lord, nothing compares to You." But it's a battle oh so worthy of being fought.

[good intentions failed again]

Do you ever have a love/fail relationship with verses? Philippians 3:8 says, "What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ." And I love it.

I agree with it wholeheartedly. I want it to be true in every aspect of life.

But truth is, it doesn't take much to distract me. That struck me the other day as we discussed it with the high school youth group. Oh Lord, everything else is rubbish, but...I really want that new pair of shoes because I like them. Nevermind I have many others and haven't given an offering this week. Oh God, everything else is rubbish, but...I would rather go to the ISU football game instead of doing ministry things. Everything else is rubbish, but I got distracted on the internet and wasted all the time I had set aside to read my Bible. The list goes on.

"I consider everything a loss.." yet I cling tightly to the familiar, the easy, the things I love, my humanity. I intellectually agree with the verses, and then real life happens, and my feet, hands and heart fail to follow. 

And you know, the thing that brings me comfort is that Israel had the exact. same. problem. When Moses read the Book of the Covenant to them they responded, "We will do everything the LORD has said; we will obey!" [Exodus 24:7] But when Moses takes longer than their liking on the mountain, they decide to make themselves a golden calf idol instead. 

Or Peter. Jesus predicts his denial, and he responds, never. "Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will. . . Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you."  [Matthew 26:33,35] And then he does - all. three. times.

You see, the more I grow in faith, the more I see my humanity, sin and struggle to follow God more clearly. A Chinese friend once asked me, "What about the good people who don't know the God? What happens to them?" And I answered, "Well, God doesn't judge our goodness compared to other people. He judges us compared to Jesus." "Ohhhh then no they're not Jesus," she responded with a shaking head.

Neither am I. Neither are you. And so we nod our heads yes, yes Lord when we like the promises and commands in His word. But every day the devil sets traps all around us, and every day I'm a sucker for them. Distractions. Worry. Impatience. Selfishness. Pride. Greed. The list goes on.

Which is why I also like verses like Psalm 25:15: "My eyes are ever on the LORD, for only he will release my feet from the snare." Only He has the way out.

You see, our culture today is obsessed with "how-to's" in 5-10 easy steps. I just Googled that exact phrase and got these results on the first page alone:

-"How to lose 10 pounds in just two weeks!"
-"Five steps to find your inner balance"
-"Five winning ways to grow a savings account"
-"How to clean your room in less time: 5 steps (with pictures)"
-"How to win chess in five moves or less"

But when I tried to apply that idea to sin in my life it didn't work out so well. Instead I have to come back to Christ's defeat, Christ's victory over sin, Christ's sacrifice once and for all. I have to be humbled once again that it's not about what I can do but always about what Christ has done. It's always about His strength and perfection, not mine. And ultimately it's always always always about God, not me.

When I come back to that foundational truth, that is when I can truly say, "everything else is rubbish Lord apart from knowing you." And that's the battle of a lifetime.