[identity]

There are a lot of books written on this subject. A lot of programs dedicated to this topic. A lot of quotes and verses pinned to mirrors and fridges and bulletin boards to serve as positive reminders. But in reality, no matter how many feel-good books I've read and things I've heard, my struggle with contentment in who God has made me to be never goes away.

For a while I stopped blogging. Got busy. Used my time for other things. And started reading other blogs that were funny, witty, more entertaining. And I got stuck in that trap of dwelling on all the things I wasn't. It didn't eat me alive every waking moment, no, but it got under my skin enough to stick around way longer than it should've.

Then the other day I came across Job 39:13-18. It's just a funny passage about an ostrich, but for some reason I love verses 17 and 18: "for God did not endow her with wisdom or give her a share of good sense. Yet when she spreads her feathers to run, she laughs at horse and rider."

He's not lying either. I've ridden an ostrich before, and I hung on for dear life. And to our human eyes the animal seems so pointless and dumb. Yet to God it's another part of His patchwork on earth. Another example of His diversity and love for beauty in all shapes, forms and sizes. Another piece of evidence that He has a purpose behind every detail of our lives. He did not make the ostrich smart. But He did make it fast. And He called it good inspite of our human tendancy to question it's purpose.

So when I get stuck in the trap of dwelling on everything I'm not and degrading my identity based on those things, I continue to remind myself that there are always going to be people I'm not. But if the glory of God is spread through the earth by giving certain gifts to some and other gifts to others, than Amen. So be it. May my life be lived by my identity in Christ - not in comparison to other people.